Maverick Philosopher

Ethical Writings of Maimonides, Dover 1975, p. 40:

As for anyone who overindulges in sexual intercourse: old age pounces upon him; his strength fails; his eyes become dim; a bad odour spreads from his mouth and armpits; the hair on his head, his eyebrows and his eyelashes fall out; the hair of his beard, armpits, and legs grows excessively; his teeth fall out; and many pains in addition to these come to him.

Hef might beg to differ. Seriously, though, it might be interesting to inquire why writers of old tended to exaggerate the negative physical effects of sexual overindulgence when the main argument against it is that it clouds one's spiritual vision.

Here are the attributes al-Ghazzali recommends seeking in a prospective wife. (Alchemy of Happiness, p. 96 ff.)

1. Chastity
2. Good disposition
3. Beauty ("See a woman before marrying her.")
4. The sum paid by the husband should be moderate
5. She should not be barren
6. Of good stock
7. Not previously married
8. Not too nearly related to her husband.

The importance of #3 is contested, however, by Jimmy Soul inter alia.

Having paid tribute to WD-40, the least I can do is pay tribute, once again, to my wife. She may not be a solvent, but she contributes mightily to my being solvent.

As for marriage itself, it is a good thing if one enters into it for the right reasons, at the right time, and after due consideration. Bear in mind that every man has two heads. The big one is for thinking, the little one for linking. Understand their offices and respective spheres of operation. To cerebrate with the organ of copulation is Clintonian and not conducive unto happiness. Even in the question of marriage, the big head must be the ruling element.

Tom Waits thinks so, and so did Pierre Bayle:

One of the revealing details of the personality of Pierre Bayle (1647-1706) is that he never married because he felt that a wife and family obligations would interfere with his studies. An erudite, a scholar, a journalist, a dialectician, he was frugal in his habits and abundant in his thoughts. He appeared to live almost entirely by his intellect, avid of news and matière de raisonnement. His recreation during the last half of his life as a Huegenot refugee consisted of watching an occasional puppet show and gathering at infrequent intervals with friends to discuss subjects of philosophy and theology. (Karl C. Sandberg, At The Crossroads of Faith and Reason: An Essay on Pierre Bayle, University of Arizona Press, 1966, p. vii.)

To balance yesterday's 'T & A' post, allow me to introduce you to Dr. Sanity:

We frequently joke about men's preoccupation with sex and female body parts in the West, but our fascination with "T&A" is nothing when you consider that the Muslim world is literally consumed by female sexuality and with their fear of it. It is ironic that both Muslim men and women are under the mistaken impression that Western society is oversexualized compared to them, when in fact, it is practically impossible to be more obsessed with sexual matters than they are in Muslim communities.

It is a fire that is constantly being stoked in our sex-obsessed and sex-saturated society. The War Within: An Anatomy of Lust is an account of one man's struggles with his lower self.

Friedrich Nietzsche, Human All-Too-Human (quoted from W. Kaufmann, The Portable Nietzsche, p. 59):

Marriage as a long conversation. When marrying, one should ask oneself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this woman into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory, but the most time during the association belongs to conversation.

Fairly good advice, but how would old Fritz know about this, he who in another place recommends taking a whip along on a date? (To be accurate, Nietzsche in Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Part I, Portable Nietzsche, p. 179, puts in the mouth of an old woman the saying, "You are going to women? Do not forget the whip! (Du gehst zu Frauen? Vergiß die Peitsche nicht!"

In my experience, marriage is not a long conversation so much as it is a long and deep and wordless understanding.

Pleasure is good, is it not? What then is wrong with the pursuit of sexual pleasure either through consensual extramarital sexual intercourse or through sexual intracourse? Here is one approach to the question.

Dennis Prager and Michael Medved are my favorite AM band talk jocks. They raise the level of the general culture unlike toxin-merchants such as Howard Stern who lower it. He's no star in my firmament. Prager and Medved know that they have a moral obligation not to add to the cultural pollution. And they have the intellect and good sense to make a positive contribution.

A man goes to the window to see the passers by. If I happen to pass by, can I say that he has gone there to see me? No; for he is not thinking of me in particular. But does he who loves someone for her beauty, really love her? No; for small-pox, destroying the beauty without destroying the person, will put an end to love.

And if I am loved for my judgment, for my memory, am I loved? No; for I can lose these qualities without losing myself. Where then is this ‘I,’ if it resides neither in the body, nor the soul? And how love the body or the soul save for these qualities which do not make the ‘me,’ since they are doomed to perish? For can one love the soul of a person in the abstract, irrespective of its qualities? Impossible and wrong! So we never love anyone, but only qualities. (p. 337, tr. H. F. Stewart)

I understand from you that your natural disposition is too much inclined toward sexual passion. Follow your inclinations as you will provided only that you neither violate the laws, disturb well-established customs, harm any one of your neighbors, injure your own body, nor waste your possessions. That you be not checked by some one of these provisos is impossible; for a man never gets any good from sexual passion, and he is fortunate if he does not receive harm.(Italics added, Letters, Principal Doctrines, Vatican Sayings, trans. R. M. Geer, Macmillan, 1987, pp. 69-70)